Tuesday, August 30, 2005

ok.. its.. 317am.. and i have to be in school by 1130 tml and i gt a damn bloody stupid and impt presentation at 130pm.. woo..and i cant slp.. wat the hell man !!!! so i decide to log in and write a new post in this cemetary site.. yes .. its lonely and quiet in the night.. and here i am blogging infront of the com and i off the night.. this is such a typical lonely guy life.. sit infront of the com.. stare at the com.. see ppl sign in sign out of msn.. haiz.. this is so sad man !

i just cant seem to fall aslp.. don noe wats bothering me.. but i noe that something is in my mind that i cant stop thinking of.. and the truth is i don noe wat the hell am i thnking of.. haha.. ok this is so sad.. i cant control what i trying to think and this is killling me.. ok its wq birhtday today.. happy birhtday wq.. seriously speaking.. i hope his dota improve.. we been discussing today.. and really think that there is generation gap.. cos he seem to do alot of thing that we don semm to understand.. maybe thats a typical 1985 mentality.. however i can ensure that spore have a veri potential commando here in my friend.. who will chiong at every opportunity that he have..

k now.. back to mr ow aka uncle agony life.. ok i am really damn afraid and i mean it.. i am afraid that i will become a gay.. wat the rite ?! 1 wk ago i still thinking about tat girl and how to chase her.. and i sitting there thinking bout the last time sec sch thatt girl.. u all shld noe rite.. and now one wk later.. i feel numb.. is this a sign of tire of love.. don trust love.. or izzit i start to get interested in guys. . and i am becoming a gay.. pls help me !! ahhhh !! this is so scary..

hmm .. saw someone online just now.. don noe y.. its not with the courage thing.. just don seem to have to initiative to go n type hi to her.. don noe y.. seem that this few days things is takign a parachute jump (going bad la lk parachute jump down lk tat la) don noe why.. maybe cos i haveing my monthly pms ba. bad mood sae wrong thing .. or izzit really that whole world is getting stress up bout that IP stuff. i hope its ip ba.. hmm.. last few wk she still sms FIRST.. and i swear that for that i so bloody damn happy that i can jump out of my hse 10 times... oh ya tat day.. that cb jy ask me redo spss.. siao one.. i mood damn bad.. but don noe.. someome sae willing to pei wo.. yea it maybe just console.. sae for the sake of saying.. howver i am damn happy.. so gang dong ar.. nearly cry.. hah.. BUT I DIDNT.. ok .. i told myself.. for that.. i willing to do anything for her ba. .maybe thats just me.. wat u do to me.. i will repay.. if u treat me bad.. u will get it.. but sometime i just don noe.. why i just cant seem to express to her what i thnking.. and i just cant seem to understand what she tiniking too..

normally.. we guys take intitative to sms the girl rite.. they will reply.. we be happy.. this can last for few wks.. but sometime.. comfrim .. is we will sian le.. we alway sms.. don noe whether they are just replying or are they really enjoying to us.. so just hope that sometime they can sms us first rite.. but.. then some ppl just cant seem to sms ppl first.. come on.. a simple hello.. gd morning.. really will bright up ppl day wat.. wat with tat stuborness.. aiyoz.. shall not sae too much.. not i wan to think too much or sae alot.. talking n chasing is a girl.. it nd 2 hand to clap.. if only one party sms all the while.. this won go far.. even for a friendship lor.. haiz.. don know how to sae..

now i start to think that its qutie stupid of me.. when ppl sae don lk u.. they mean it.. but then .. it diff to ffan xia... lk or no lk a person.. it take a long time for tat feeling to come or go.. so .. i don noe.. i just cant seem to cant fan xia ba.. i don noe y.. haha.. but bow i really feeling numb bout her.. its so sudden i don noe y.. haha.. but wat i scare if lk alway.. when i am numb.. suddenly she will tok to me or wat so ever.. then the flame and passion ignite again.. don noe y.. i really think this is retribution.. i heard that my dad n grandpa use to flirt around lk no one business.. so i think .. this is karma!!!.. now the girl start to toy around with me and i am going to die as a lonely cow. yea.. this is so sad.. so ppl.. kindly pls.. don flirt.. it will really affect the future of ur children ok.. lalal.. wat shld i sae..

i still cant seem to fall aslp.. i don noe why i am super engertic.. maybe i shld go down.. run round the park.. and run till half.. faint n drop inside the big big canal and die there.. yea.. sometime i really hope i just die tats the truth.. life is just so sickening.. k la.. too long ppl won read.. stop here.. think tml then continue.. uncle agonay miserable life part 2 .

-when the flame and passion is gone..
don ignite it if u have no intetinon of keeping it up
a single action can be interpret in a thousand way
a dream can just go on with a simple thoughts..
giving up is not easy.. forgetting is not simple..
if you have no desire or see no hope in keeping the flame on..
just don ignite it..
just let it go off in the nite..
with the help of the rain drop and cold winds..

roger lost his dreams 8/30/2005 03:13:00 AM

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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

my SG girl
Do u or do u all not agree that we all had the same edu, goes to school together.remember how i used to hold ur lovely tiny hands in kindergarden. we play zero point, five stones (dun know if they are still playing 5 stones), how we ran around the school field playing catching, sucking our hack, how i made u laugh. Dont i amuse u?

Then soon we were skipping school to billards saloon n skating rings. folding stars n hearts placing them in a glass bottle for u. when i Pierced 1 nose rings 5 earings, keeping my aaron kwok hair style just to match u in ur folded school skirt n ur sweet but geeky face. Don't i feel for u?

I was there in the poly driving a little pony, u stay in the north while my den is in the east but fetching u was never a chore to me. never once did i complain. cause having u in my ride, ur lovely morning scent makes me insane. All the late partying mambo nites, all the crazy stunts we pull in the back of the car. Don't i lust for u?

Here we are in the prime of our lives, oh my my..... how u had changed. suddenly the european dick who was serving me dinner in england u lust. after all Ur MBA separates us, our divide mend we must. u have changed while i have not. stiil here with my 5 stones n rubble band rope, waiting ...... waiting... for a friend to come and build a home. Don't i luv u?

SignedSG boy

*saw this on a forum.. think that tis is interesting so i decided to post it up.. ..sg guys not gd meh !! *

roger lost his dreams 8/09/2005 05:07:00 PM

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Monday, August 08, 2005

ok .. 1 month since i blog.. time for uncle agony to start complaining bout his life and studies and many many other things..

first i will start off with school life.. this few days.. heard my friend saying he want to quit sch.. and alos lotsa friends being complaining how year 3 sux and how the module is useless to our life.. actually.. i really agree to what they said.. i really doubt that np uses their brain when they are plannign about the schedule and the module to let the students. ask us sell tupperware.. then the stupid company restrict us to so many thing.. some more i really think np shld let us do on the company that we wnt lor. it really sux that they force us to do tupperware and also ask us to do on its beauty product.. come on la.. HAVE U EVER HEARD OF TUPPERWARE SELLING BEAUTY PRODUCTS?! who will dare to to buy.. kaoz.. stupid.. seriously speaking.. i am currently considering quitting the school also.. but then all will start sayingh aiya last yr liao bear with it. but then its because its the last yr. . then i noe bout how stupid the thing i studying is.. so i don think it gt anythign to do with being in the last yr.. bear with it.. i really think i chosen the wrong course or rather,, the wrong specialization.. marketing sux to the core.. SUX !!!!! really hate it.. think thru this few wks.. i shall llook at how things is going then i decide again shall i quit not.

ok now for the future plan.. what to do when i quit? of course in order to listen to the stupid govt.. its NS first.. after i survive the tekong.. next ti think i will not continue with sch stuff.. i will go look for a job or a part time job.. earn up some capital and then save it for my dreams. i want to open a restaurant and of course at the same time.. if the band can really work out.. i don mind venturing into that .. but as far as it goes now.. i think its not that easy.. so i think i will concentrate on the restaurant now.. WHO SAE NO DIPLOMA = NO FUTURE IN SPORE?!.....i reckon that people can do well with a diploma also lor.. ok since tml is national day.. and today is national day eve.. i shall gif the country some face and stop complaining bout hte govt.. but really.. sometime i really doubt the thing that the govt do..

ok now.. after complaining sch stuff.. its time to move on to uncle agony life.. wat can i sae not feeling good this past few wk.. things is starting to look bad and i think that it have never look good before .. maybe its just that i am trying to "an wei" myself.. so i try to make it look good.. i really think that the horoscope thing is true... ITS TOUGH BEINGA CANCER !!!! haiz.. not i wan to think.. u noe rite.. u sit there.. literature student tends to read in btw words.. and tend to follow in that shaky-spear mind...... think n think n think alot.. whether its good or bad.. just think n think..some more i am a cancer plus literature student.. of course think damn alot lor.. diff not to think alot lor..
read that cancer-ian is super insercue bout love also .. that true thought.. how can it be secure unless u heard bout the necessary things rite ?..combining with the over- sensitive nature of the cancer-ian .. its really tough to be a cancer.. u will keep thinking all nite long bout anythign that u see .. u hear.. and u do.. it just sux to be a cancer!

haiz.. now e learning week.. and tats so much shit for us to do.. its worst than having normal lesson .. i just wish that the whole country internet connect go hay wire.. so i no nd to do any e learning lor.. lalalal~ and i think.. this coming week.. shall clarify to the girl ba.. its no use wasting ur time on someone that have no feeling for u rite?.. hmm ..

hmmm.. do u all ever wonder before not.. love is a veri strange thing.. it make u love the person that u hate.. i hate ppl that are insensitive... tok like their are the only one around.. expect u to listen when their are feeling down.. and don gif a damn to u when u are feeling down.. also. .i use to sae.. girl should be gentle.. don scold vulgarities... and i told my self b4.. girls for guys to love n care for .. if i ever meet this type of girls.. i shall gif them a kick on the butt and ask them to wake up .. but now.. i met one.. n i think i have fallen for her.. though she not as bad as all that i have said.. but sometime i really think that.. she is just tat near to all that i have stated.. it really is a strange thing.. imagine.. u hate this person to the core.. but u cant bring urself to hate her ?... or u cant stop feeling sad when u saw ur enemy is crying.. haiz.. seriously.. this don feel gd..

yesterday i watch the stupid 5566 show..there is a part where this girl.. really lk the guy.. but she knew that the guy doesnt lk her at all and only treat her as a sister.. she knew it and of course.. she is sad.. but she still continue to do alot of thing for the guy.. even to the extend that she is willing to help the guy to chase after the girl that he like.. ok.. maybe some of u may think ok la.. lk tat only.. nothign wat.. but then after tat i saw her do something.. that i don noe y.. my tears nearly roll out of my eyes.. this wat she do.. she hug the guy and ask.. "can a sister do this to you ?" and the guy sae yes.. then after that.. she put her head on the guy shoulder and ask.. " can a sister do this " and then she hug the guy arm n ask again .. "can a sister do this ? " of course.. the guy sae yes.. its normal for the sibling to be intimate wat.. but he never notice that that.. the girls eye is red and her tears is rollign down her cheek whenever she hug him.. i really think tis is somethign that alot of us never really think and experiece before.. we can alway sae that.. aiya.. i lk this girl she happy = i am happy .... i don mind if i not the perosn she like.. as long as she is happy.. i am fine with it.. but.. how many of us can really do that .. and feel tat way.. i admit.. i cant.. so i realyl think that part is touching.. u imagine.. u really love him.. but.. the only thing u can do is to help him go after the girl she like.. which is not you.. and next.. u can hug him.. tok to him.. etc but u will noe that u are not the one in his heart.. and watever you do .. he won understand what u are feeling.. this is really sad .. serious.. i nearly cry while watchign it.. while that cb wq.. still can ask me go do e learning on msn .. t(-.-t) u wq..

mabye its because i experience something lk tat.. so i will feel tis way.. or maybe cos i am a cancer-ian.. so i thik alot.. n veri emotion ?.. i don noe.. seriously speaking sometime.. if u like a person .. just sae it out.. and of course.. if u don lk the person.. pls.. stop being so gd to him and try to reject everyting he do to u ... n of course.. tell him again n again till her get it that.. u 2 are impossible to be together.. its better to hurt the person hard during that short time span rather that dragging the thing on and letting him having hope and then crushing it when he is already too deep into his dream..

- i tot i have touch ur heart..
i tot the dream that i have is coming true..
i tot u noe how i feel ..
never did i realize that its only dreams tats i having..
its a dream that is never to come true..
who will noe the things i been thru.
who will noe of the hurt that i have ..
if this the way the world works..
i will rather be prefer to be blink n deaf..
i wan see no more of the word love..
and i wan hear no more of the sweet stories tat others have been thru.

roger lost his dreams 8/08/2005 04:06:00 PM

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